


Empathic Error

by scifiangel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Angelic Grace Kink (Supernatural), Barebacking, Canon Compliant, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Castiel/Dean Winchester One Shot, First Kiss, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Grace as lube, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, Porn With Plot, S13 E22, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-04 22:16:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20478335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scifiangel/pseuds/scifiangel
Summary: The idjits finally admit their feelings. Porn insures.





	Empathic Error

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to my wonderful beta, Jer832!
> 
> I've been rewatching the last two seasons and after this episode (S13 E22 Exodus) this scene came to me and insisted I write it. Sometimes muses can be so pushy! Enjoy.

[ ](https://ic.pics.livejournal.com/scifiangel/12231815/1596894/1596894_original.jpg)

Castiel stood next to Sam and looked around at all the smiling faces. He and the Winchesters had done the impossible once again. They had rescued Jack and Mary from the apocalypse world and trapped Lucifer there. But it wasn't just their family they had saved. All the freedom fighters from that doomed world were saved including a version of Bobby Singer and Charlie Bradbury.

He stared at Dean from across the bunker's map room, soaking in the joy that radiated off the hunter. Dean was speaking with the alternate Bobby and his mother, Mary. His smile always did strange things to the angel. It sometimes felt like bees flying around in his stomach and his pulse would speed up.

Castiel had figured out long ago that the feeling was his human body's reaction to the love he had for his hunter. Dean's happiness made him happy. Said hunter briefly looked over at him and smiled. The bees took flight in his stomach again.

He knew that a smile, a hand on his shoulder, and an occasional hug was all the physical affection he would ever get from Dean Winchester. He would have to be satisfied with that. What he really wanted from Dean was impossible. He was glad his _angel mojo_ as Dean called it, allowed him to stop the blood that wanted to flow to his genitals.

"It's so good to see Dean happy again," Sam commented. "Isn't it?"

Sam's voice startled him a bit. Castiel had forgotten he was standing next to the younger Winchester.

"Yes," Cas replied. "Very good to see indeed."

He must have frowned without realizing it because Sam turned and faced him, putting his large hand on Cas's shoulder.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked.

"Oh, nothing is wrong," he assured Sam. "I just thought this might be a good time to take Jack on a short road trip. Get Jack's mind off Lucifer and let Dean have some time to bond with the new Bobby and Charlie."

"I don't know Cas. He only just got you back." Sam frowned at him.  


"Oh, Dean doesn't need me hanging around right now."

"Doesn't need you hanging...!" Sam grab Cas's shoulder and began to pull him out of the map room. "Come on. I need to talk to you, but not here."

Castiel followed Sam out of the room and down the long hallway to the younger Winchester's bedroom. Sam ushered him in and shut the door behind him.

"Have a seat." Sam indicated the desk chair he kept beside his bed, then he sat down on the edge of his bed facing the angel.

Sam was silent for a few moments which worried Cas.

"What is it, Sam?"

"I'm just trying to figure out how to say this without Dean wanting to kill me." Sam rubbed the back of his neck while Cas sat patiently. "The last time you died..." Sam looked over at him with a sad face. "Dean sort of gave up."

"How do you mean?" Castiel asked.

"He...," Sam swallowed hard and looked down at the floor. "Well, the day you came back he had killed himself, Cas."

"What?!" Castiel couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Why?!"

"He said it was to get in touch with the ghosts we were hunting, but I knew it was just an excuse. If Billy hadn't forced him back..."

"Billy?"

"Yeah, she's the new Death. It's a long story." Sam shook his head and looked at him with pain written on his face. "It was losing you Cas. He didn't want to live without you."

"No, Sam," Castiel shook his head. "I've died many times before and he survived it. It was losing your mother."

"No, Cas. It was losing you. If you had seen him… kneeling beside you because he couldn't stand. He couldn't…" Sam stood up and put both his hands on Cas's shoulders. "You do know Dean’s in love with you, right?"

"I'm aware." Castiel bowed his head, sadness filling his body. "I also know that he doesn't **_want_** to be in love with me. He hates that he loves me." Tears threatened in Cas's eyes, but he fought them back. "That's why I've never done anything about how I feel."

He looked back up at Sam, hoping he understood.

"Cas, you need to tell him."

"No, he doesn't want to hear that from me."

"Maybe not, but he needs to hear it." Sam helped Cas to his feet. "Please, Castiel, tell him how you feel. He may surprise you."

"All right, Sam. I'll talk to him tonight."

Later, when beds had been found for all the refugees from the apocalypse world, the bunker had finally quieted down. The Winchester Clan went off to bed themselves, Castiel kept his word to Sam.

He slowly walked through the empty halls towards Dean's room. He had seen his hunter retire to his room twenty minutes ago. Since then he had been pacing and trying to decide what to say to Dean.

Fear and resolve fought each other in his mind. This could be the best night of his life or the end of his relationship with Dean. If Dean asked him to leave, it would crush him.

But he thought... No, he knew that Dean was worth the risk. And he had been crushed before. It didn't stop him from returning to his hunter's side. Not even death could keep him from Dean Winchester's side.

Before he realized it, Castiel was standing in front of the hunter's door. He never felt more connected to his vessel. His heart was pounding, his hands and neck felt hot, and it felt like he couldn't get enough oxygen, even though he didn't need to breathe.

“As humans say, it's now or never," he whispered and then knocked on the door.

*****

Dean lay fully clothed on his bed on top of the covers, his hands behind his head. He couldn't seem to keep the smile off his face as he stared at the ceiling.

They had done it! They had rescued his mom, and Jack, and everybody else.

Except for Lucifer. And that was cause enough to smile.

A soft rap on his door brought Dean back to the present.

"Come in," he called out.

He was surprised, but pleasantly so, when he saw it was Cas. The angel walked through the door and closed it behind him.

He sat up, swung his legs over the edge of the bed, and looked up at Cas with a smile.

"What's up, Buddy?"

Castiel frowned, but Dean wasn't sure why.

"Cas, what's wrong?" he asked concerned.

He started to stand up, but Cas put his hand on Dean's shoulder to stop him.

"Stay Dean," Cas insisted. "I think it would be best if you were sitting down for what I need to tell you."

_'Well, that's not ominous at all,'_ Dean thought as he sat back down.

Cas sat down in the desk chair across from Dean's bed, put his hands in his lap and stared down at them. The expression on Cas's face looked like a combination of sadness, fear, and resignation.

Dean so wanted to hug him at that moment.

"You're starting to scare me, Buddy," he commented as he stared up at the angel.

Anger flashed across Cas's face.

"First," Cas growled as he stood up quickly. "Stop calling me Buddy! I don't want to be your buddy or your pal or your bother, or any other titles you usually call me." Cas used his fingers to indicate the air quotation marks.

"Oooookay." Dean had no idea what to say to that, but it filled him with dread.

"I'm sorry, Dean," Cas apologized as he sat back down on the chair. "This is hard for me."

Dean leaned over and put his hand on Cas's knee. "Just talk to me."

He really wanted Cas to look at him so he could see those beautiful eyes and try to read his emotions. But Cas wouldn't look up. He just kept looking at his hands in his lap.

"Dean, I promised I would never read your mind without your permission. But that's not the same as your emotions." Cas swallowed hard and looked over at the wall, then the ceiling, and back down at his hands. Anywhere but at Dean, which made the hunter even more uneasy.  
"Sometimes when your emotions are strong, I cannot help but feel them. Especially when they're about me."

Cas looked up briefly and met Dean's eyes. Maybe to emphasize that point, but Dean wasn't sure.

"It's a bit like being in the next room to someone playing their music very loudly. Even if you try you can't help but hear it.

"Sometimes at night when you..." Cas put his face in his hands and rubbed before putting them back in his lap. "When you have your... private time, you call out my name. I can't help but hear it. And... feel it."

Dean felt the blood drain from his face, and his hands began to tremble. _'He knows.'_

"I'm sorry. I never meant... I didn't want..."

Cas held up his hand. "Dean stop, please. It's alright, but if I'm going to get through this, I need you to stay quiet until I'm done. I promise to give you a say after, but can you please stay silent and just let me say what I need to say?"

Dean's fear level was higher than facing a hellhound, but he nodded and kept quiet. He didn't know what to say anyway.

Cas stood up again and began to pace. 

His eyes followed the angel's every movement.

"I know you want me, and I know you even love me," Cas paused and looked at him, his eyes filled with what Dean thought was sympathy, then he began to pace again. "But I also know you hate that you love me. When you desire me you also feel guilt and revulsion at your desire."

Cas sat down again and looked at the floor. "It hurts so much when I feel that from you. That no matter how much joy it gives me to love you, you loath loving me."

"What!?" _'Cas couldn't have meant what he just said, could he? Cas doesn't love me, does he?! Not in that way!'_

"It's alright, Dean," Cas assured him. "I've learned to except it, but sometimes wanting you hurts so much that I need to get away for a little while."

"Cas, are you saying that..."

"Dean, please. Just let me finish." Cas took a deep breath even though he knew Cas didn't need to breath. "I may have to leave for a while sometimes, but I can never stay away for long."

Cas looked straight at him. It felt like the angel could see through to his soul, and maybe he could.

"Not even death could keep me from you, Dean."

The hunter's head was spinning. _'Cas loves me! It can't be true, can it?'_ He wanted to speak, but no words would come out.

They must have been staring at each other for some time before Cas looked away and stood up.

"I just thought you should know," the angel said as he headed for the door.

"No," Dean shouted. "Stay!"

Cas stopped with his hand on the doorknob.

"You promised I could speak when you were done." Dean tried not to sound desperate, but he didn't think he succeeded. "Please, Cas."

Cas sat back down and stared up at the hunter.

"I..." Dean looked down at his hands. He wasn't sure what to say. There was so much that needed saying, too much. Where to start? How could he put into words all that he felt for Cas? He stood up and turned away from the angel.

"I don't deserve you, Cas. I never did."

"Dean..."

He couldn't look at Cas right then. Didn't want to see the pity in those beautiful blue eyes.

"I corrupt everyone I touch. I've screwed up every relationship I've ever been in. I get everyone I care about killed." He looked at the ceiling with a bitter laugh. "Most of them multiple times."

"Dean, that is simply not..."

"Cas, please." Dean stared him down. "You promised to let me have my say."

The angel nodded and kept silent.

"When... The last time you..."

The hunter took a deep breath and swallowed hard.

"When Lucifer stabbed you. You were lying there with your wings burned into the ground and I..."

The image of that moment flooded his brain and Dean couldn't keep the tears out of his eyes.

"I couldn't breathe. I couldn't stand." He looked down at the floor seeing only Cas's dead body there. "As much as I hate your father, I prayed to him. Begged him to bring you back.

I... I sort of gave up after that. I was just going through the motions." The tears were falling heavily down his face and he didn't try to stop them. "I killed myself, Cas. I didn't want to be in a world without you in it."

"Oooh, Dean."

"No, Cas. Don't you see? I hated loving you because I thought you couldn't love me back! Not that way! I knew I should let you go, but I'm a selfish bastard!" He was shouting and he couldn't seem to stop. "I felt guilty for wanting you because I knew I would never have you. And being around me would get you killed. And it did!"

Cas was out of his seat and had him wrapped his arms, cradling the back of his head. Cas tenderly pressed his face into his chest. The seasoned hunter's legs gave out and he collapsed into his angel's body, sobbing. _'When did Cas become my angel?'_ he wondered as his tears soaked into Cas's shirt.

"You are such an idjit, Dean Winchester," Cas whispered as he kissed the top of his head.

Dean had to chuckle through his tears. That word sounded so ridiculous coming from the angel.

"If you think that denying yourself my love will keep me safe, you **clearly** haven't been paying attention." Cupping his face, Cas forced him to look up into those sky-blue eyes so deep that Dean had always felt he could happily lose himself in them for the rest of his life. Eyes that now were filling with tears.

"There is nothing you could ever do that would keep me from your side." Cas's thumb gently wiped at the tears on Dean's cheek as he smiled down at him. He leaned into the angel's touch. "The only thing denying this has gotten us is pain and frustration. Haven't you learned by now? We are better together."

Castiel leaned down and gently kissed his lips.

But it wasn't enough. After ten years of built up tension, Dean did not want gentle.

He stood up in the angel's arms and wrapped his right hand around Cas's head pulling on his hair and kissing him with all that he had. Lips clashed, and teeth bit, hands were everywhere, and Cas was giving as good as he got. Clothes began to litter the floor. They were down to their t-shirts and underwear when most of Dean's air was knocked out of him. His angel had slammed him against the wall. Cas pulled back panting, his fingers gripping the front of the hunter’s t-shirt.

"Dean, you need to be very sure." Cas licked his lips and Dean followed the movement. "If we do this and then tomorrow you... If you tell me that it was a mistake, or we should pretend it never happened... Dean..., it would destroy me."

There was such pain in his angel's eyes. He so wanted to take that pain away, but what could he say so Cas would believe him? Then he knew what to do. He leaned in and whispered into his love's ear. "Read my mind, Castiel."

His angel's eyes went wide, then narrowed and he tilted his head. Dean always thought he looked adorable when he did that.

Dean tried to project all the love and joy he felt knowing this angel loved him back. After a moment Cas's eyes went wide again and flashed with bright blue grace. Then his lips slammed into Dean's.

Everything was a blur for a while. Dean didn't remember how, but it seemed that a moment later they were both naked on his bed with Cas's whole body on top of him. His angel's lips, tongue, and hands were everywhere at once. The combination of firm caresses, hot wet kisses and licks, a hard member pressing against Dean's thigh, and Cas's moans were giving Dean vertigo.

Just to stay sane he had to grab a hold of Cas. Grasping his forearms, squeezing his shoulders, running his fingers through the angel's dark hair, anything to hang onto the whirl wind.

Way too quickly Dean found himself on the edge. He felt like a teenage virgin. He didn't want this over before it barely began. He had to push Cas back to arm's length, gulping air to stop the room spinning and fight off his orgasm.

"Did I do something wrong?" Cas asked.

His angel was panting, his hair stuck up at all angles, his face was red, and his lips were kiss swollen. He was the very picture of _Fresh Fucked_ and it nearly sent Dean over the edge. Only Cas's fear filled frown that he finally recognized for what it was stopped him from coming.

"No, you were... um... doing everything right." Cas's frown deepened. "You had me too close to coming," Dean explained as he took long deep breaths. "I..." He swallowed hard, trying to calm down enough to ask for what he really wanted. He leaned up and whispered into his angel's ear. "I want you inside me. Make me yours."

Cas pulled back with a look of horror on his face. "I don't want to possess you, Dean. I like this vessel. I'm use to it, and my grace would..."

Dean couldn't help it. He just started laughing. Then he couldn't seem to stop. He couldn't get enough oxygen, tears rolled down his face, and his sides began to hurt. It was only his angel's frightened look that sobered him up. He reached over and cupped Cas's cheek with one hand while wiping away his own tears with the other. Once again, he whispered in his angel's ear.

"I don't want you to possess me, Castiel. I want you to fuck me."

"Oh. **Oooooh!**" And there was the blue grace glowing in Dean's soon-to-be lover's eyes once again. He would probably never admit it to Cas, but that show of grace always turned him on.

"There's lube and condoms in the top drawer." Dean pointed to his nightstand.

Case looked at the drawer and then back at him. "You do know that I heal everything every time I heal you?"

"What?" Dean didn't understand what that had to do with sex.

"Dean." Cas's expression softened as he cupped the hunter's cheek. "I heal everything in your body each time. If I didn't you would have died of liver failure years ago."

That thought sobered Dean up.

"Unless you've had unprotected sex in the last few hours..?"

It took Dean a moment to realize that Cas was waiting for an answer.

"No, I haven't had any sex in sometime."

"Then you're clean. I haven't had sex since I came back from the dead two times ago." Cas smiled again. "Not that I could get a disease as an angel anyway. So, I think we can do without a barrier between us."

"Wow, I haven't gone bareback since I was a teenager." Dean smiled up at Cas. He was about to say something else, but Cas's mouth was on his trying to devour him. His angel's hot skin pressed down on his whole body, setting his nerves on fire. Cas's hard member rubbed against Dean’s inner thigh making him moan. Cas's tongue began to lap at his neck and his hands seemed to be everywhere. This really needed to progress beyond the groping phase.

"Cas, please," Dean panted. "Get the lube. I need you in me. I need you now!"

"Do you trust me?" Cas asked.

"You're the one who always says to not ask stupid questions." Dean pushed his angel back just far enough to look into his eyes. "I trust you with my life, Castiel."

Cas smiled down at him and his eyes glowed with grace again. Warmth spread through Dean's body and flowed downward relaxing all the muscles around his hole. He felt a... _something_ gently spreading him open and filling him with pleasure. Dean couldn't help the animalistic groans that escaped his throat. Not that he was trying to at all.

"That is your grace, right?" Dean asked, though it was more of a statement.

"Now whose asking stupid questions?" To Dean’s ears Cas sounded as far gone as he felt.

"I'm ready. Please, I need you now."

A moment later Cas plunged in to the hilt, and it was unlike anything Dean had ever felt. There was no pain, only fullness and pleasure. Cas had to have used his grace again.

His angel lay on top of him panting against his neck, which let Dean know just how far gone he was.

"Move!" A pulse of that pleasurable _something_ went through his body and Cas shivered as he began to pull out slowly then thrust deep and hard. "Yes!" Dean screamed as his whole body shuttered. He was not going to last long.

Cas began to babble in what Dean recognized as Enochian though he didn't recognize most the words.

*"Elasa dalagare darliapa quasahi," Cas chanted like a prayer.

His angel grabbed his ankles and throw his legs over Cas's shoulders as he straightened up onto his knees. The thrusts hit even deeper inside Dean. The head of Cas's cock rubbed against his prostate every few strokes making lights flash behind his eyes.

"Dean?" 

Cas sounded so desperate! Dean opened his eyes. _'When did I shut them?'_ he wondered.

The sight before him nearly made him come. A naked Cas in all his glory, toned muscles straining, face and chest red, and his black hair plastered to his forehead with sweat. Cas's eyes glowed blue even though they were shut. The lights in the room were flickering, casting the shadow of his angel's wings against the walls. Though damaged, they were still magnificent to Dean.

"Close your eyes!" Cas screamed.

"What?"

"Close your eyes, Dean! Close your eyes!"

He shut his eyes as tight as possible and threw his arm over them to be sure. And just in time, as he could feel the light and heat radiating off Cas as the angel screamed his name. He could hear light bulbs crackle and burst.

Pleasure poured into Dean from where their bodies joined and the hot wet pulses filling him sent the hunter over the edge.

Even though his eyes were closed and covered, he saw what was left of the lights dim.

Cas collapsed onto Dean's chest. He wrapped his arms around his angel, and then cracked his eyes open a bit to see if it was safe. The room was almost black except for the light in the hallway seeping under the door. He could just make out Cas's messy black hair.

_'At least Cas only blew the lights in my room, not the whole bunker,'_ Dean mused.

Dean's eyes began to adjust to the low light. He leaned down and kissed the top of Cas's head eliciting a contented _hummm_ from his angel. They lay there like that cuddling (Dean would deny it if asked) for a few minutes until the sticky mess on his stomach began to dry.

"We should probably go clean up..." Before Dean finished his sentence Cas lazily waved his hand and they were clean.

Dean chuckled a bit. "That's going to come in handy in the future."

Cas's head popped up, a huge smile on his face and tears filling his eyes.

"You want to do this again in the future?"

His angel's voice sounded so hopeful it made his heart ache.

"Sunshine, I want to do this with you for the rest of my life."

Cas hugged him desperately around his neck. "I love you, Dean."

Dean thought it would be hard to say it back, but it came out so easily he regretted not saying before.

"I love you too, Castiel."

*****

The next morning Dean woke with Cas's head still on his chest and his angel staring up at him with a look of complete adoration. He leaned down and kissed the messy thatch of hair. 

"Good morning, Dean."

"Morn'n, Sunshine."

"I like that nickname much better than Buddy," Cas said with a thoughtful look.

"Good. Now let's go get some coffee."

Once they were dressed and ready, Dean took his angel's hand and walked boldly down the halls and into the map room filled with hunters. Some stared, a few snickered behind their hands, but most just smiled and nodded good morning.

When they reached the kitchen, Sam was there with a knowing smile and two cups of coffee for them.

"Just so you know," Sam said as he handed them their mugs. "I've asked Rowena to put a dampening spell on your room."

"Why?" he and Cas asked simultaneously.

"You two were rather loud last night." 

* _Enochian translation (according to the internet): You give great pleasure._

Feel free to snag with credit for personal use ONLY, just Do Not post them anywhere else without my permission. And if it inspires art or fic, send me a link so I can read it.


End file.
